


A Comedy of Errors

by penguinparity



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinparity/pseuds/penguinparity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aerosmith once proclaimed that life's a journey, not a destination.  If this is true, then Ray is pretty sure they're in for a bumpy ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Comedy of Errors

The first time they try it, they decide in the heat of the moment. In retrospect, this is a fucking mistake on a colossal scale of maybe officer level retardation.

They’re going at it on Ray’s bed; they’ve managed to get naked. Walt is a minute or two from coming and completely absorbed in the blowjob Ray’s giving him.

Ray pulls off his dick and gives him a speculative look. Walt does not approve of thinking at this point in the game. There is a game plan and it definitely does not involve thinking.

“Hey, you wanna fuck me?” Ray asks with a waggle of his eyebrows. He continues to stroke Walt, clearly hoping that the positive reinforcement will sway the decision in his favor.

“Fuck yeah,” Walt replies, moments before he comes messily all over Ray’s hand. Ray looks down in surprise.

\--

This sets the precedent for the second time, a week later. Ray brings it up slightly earlier this time as Walt’s yanking Ray’s boxers off.

“So…gay sex?”

“Okay,” Walt agrees. None of his ex-girlfriends were willing to do anal with him, so Walt only has vague ideas from the porn he’s watched on how exactly this goes down. Ray pulls out the condoms and lube he apparently squirreled away with a rather ridiculous amount of fanfare. Walt stares at the lube for a moment in uncomprehending panic. None of the porn he ever watched involved applying lube – it was always just _there_ already. Objectively he knows they have to use _something_, the anus isn’t self-lubricating, but he hadn’t really thought through the reality of that.

Ray’s practically bouncing as he turns over and gets on all fours. He waggles his ass at Walt in a fashion that is probably supposed to be enticing. Walt puts some lube on his fingers and starts to rub it around Ray’s asshole.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ray demands after several moments. “You’re supposed to put it in my ass, not massage it into my skin.”

“Right,” Walt stutters. He can practically feel his dick wilting in nervousness. Completely unlike what he’s fantasized about for the last month, this feels like the unsexiest thing he’s ever done. He puts more lube on his finger and pushes a couple fingers in. Ray squirms away immediately, throwing a scandalized look over his shoulder.

“Fuck, that hurt!”

“You need to relax, this isn’t gonna work if you tense up.” Walt pulls Ray back by his hips and runs a hand over his back soothingly. Walt spends a good twenty minutes slowly fingering Ray, first with one and then two fingers. Finally Ray demands he get on with it. Walt quickly gets his dick back into the program and fumbles on the condom.

He finally pushes into Ray, trying so hard to go slowly. Ray is completely silent except for a couple of grunts when the head of Walt’s cock suddenly slides in past the ring of muscle.

“Hey, you okay?” Walt asks when he’s about halfway in.

“Yeah, it’s fuckin rainbows and kittens over here,” Ray replies, sounding anything but. Walt stops and starts to pull out. “No, keep going. It’s gotta get better.”

So Walt keeps going, slowly at first. Ray keeps making these little noises that Walt can’t exactly decipher. When he asks if it’s getting better, Ray just grunts again. Walt can feel himself getting closer and he wants Ray to come too, so he reaches down around Ray to fist his cock. Walt is completely surprised when he finds Ray is almost completely soft. The realization that this might not be pleasant for Ray immediately takes the edge off Walt’s arousal as ice suddenly churns in his veins. Ray bats his hand away almost immediately.

It doesn’t matter how desperately close he is to coming, Walt finds this an unacceptable situation he has to unfuck as quickly as possible. He pulls slowly out of Ray and forces him to turn over.

“Hey, why didn’t you say anything?” Walt asks.

“Wanted you to come,” Ray mumbles into their sheets.

“There are other ways to accomplish that.” Walt smiles and kisses Ray. Ray looks relieved and grateful all at once. The thought that Ray had trying to hide his discomfort for him hurts Walt in places he doesn’t want to think about to closely. Ray notices his expression and rolls them over so Walt is lying back. He strips off the condom as he nuzzles at Walt’s jaw. Grabbing the lube, he slicks up his hand and wraps it around Walt’s dick.

After Walt ends up coming messily all over his stomach, they’re laying on the bed. He looks over at Ray tentatively.

“Do you think you’d want to try it again?”

“If you ever try to stick your dick in me again, I will gut you with me Ka-bar,” Ray says with utter seriousness, shooting Walt another scandalized look.

\--

That’s the end of it for a good month. Except Walt can’t stop thinking about it. He wonders if maybe he was doing something wrong. He tries looking on the Internet for help, but that’s utterly worthless. Eighty percent of the search results he gets are porn sites; most of the rest are geared towards women. What few advice columns he finds only emphasize the importance of condoms and lube, which _thanks, already covered that one_. So when he broaches the subject again, he tries a different tack.

“What if you fucked me?”

Ray looks at him as if Walt has just said he’s thinking about converting to Marxism and moving to a commune.

“No, seriously. I want to try it,” Walt insists. After a fair amount of cajoling, Ray agrees. He makes a point of trimming his nails practically down to the quick before they start though. Walt thinks that’s just insolent, it’s not like he clawed Ray or anything.

Ray uses a ridiculous amount of lube while he’s fingering Walt; getting it all over the sheets, his hands, his hair, Walt, and possibly the ceiling (Walt isn’t exactly sure how _that_ happened). It isn’t exactly amazing, but it’s not painful. Ray is convinced he’s lying and trying to manfully suck it up for Ray’s benefit, so he continues for at least 10 more minutes than Walt thinks is necessary.

“For fuck’s sake, Ray. I am not a delicate fucking flower, if you don’t fuck me already I am going to kick you out of the room and lock the fucking door,” Walt grinds out.

“Shit, I love it when you’re bossy.” Ray gets his shit sorted out and soon enough his cock is pushing slowly into Walt. Ray keeps up a filthy verbal barrage to make sure Walt is all right and still enjoying himself. For his part, Walt is propped up on one arm as he jacks himself. He comes in an embarrassingly short amount of time, not from Ray fucking him but from his words alone. Walt has always had an embarrassing weakness for Ray’s mouth.

Afterward they’re lying spent on the bed again and Ray turns to Walt.

“That went a hell of a lot better. I guess we’ve figured out who’s the top in this relationship,” Ray says with a grin. Walt makes a noncommittal noise that doesn’t exactly make for a ringing endorsement. Ray pushes himself up onto his elbows and glares at Walt.

“You did like that, right? I mean you came pretty fast.”

“Yeah, I did but it wasn’t exactly from the fucking,” Walt says. He flushes. Ray’s eyebrows skyrocket towards his hairline.

“Really.”

“For a dumb hick you’ve got a really dirty mouth, Ray.” Walt realizes from the slow grin spreading across Ray’s face that admitting to that will have potentially disastrous consequences.

\--

They try several more times and each time it gets slightly less uncomfortable for Walt. It’s never the mind blowing, come without even touching your dick he’s read about on the Internet but at least it’s not a disaster like it was with Ray on the receiving end.

"Maybe we're doing something wrong, I mean gay dudes gotta love this for a reason.... right?" Ray asks rhetorically as he flops back onto the bed.

\--

Walt keeps searching on the Internet, wading through the masses of gay porn until he finds a couple of blogs that are frank and _very_ informative. It takes a lot of planning and nearly a month to convince Ray to agree to try bottoming again.

Ray seems confused when Walt refuses to head into their bedroom that night. He’s been a little on edge the entire evening since agreeing and Walt has nearly confessed his plan several times in order to get him to calm down.

“I thought we were gonna, you know,” Ray says with a nod toward the bedroom door.

“Eventually,” Walt agrees. He pulls Ray back to the couch and onto his lap. They make out slowly, trading kisses until Ray starts to relax marginally. He gets Ray divested of his pants and pulls out the bottle of lube he stashed under the couch earlier.

“Dude. We are not getting lube all over the couch. Do you remember the pillow you defaced with come? We had to turn it over out of shame because we couldn’t get the stain out,” Ray protests.

“Relax, I have a plan.” Walt smiles and does the thing with the corner of his mouth and his tongue he knows drives Ray to distraction.

“That’s not playing fair,” Ray says with a glare as he leans in capture Walt’s mouth again. Walt gets him positioned so he’s kneeling above Walt’s lap. It’s the perfect height; Ray’s dick is right in front of Walt’s face and his knees are spread wide enough that Walt can touch him freely.

Walt starts slow, sucking and teasing Ray’s cock until Ray is panting and cursing above him. It’s not until a flush starts to spread down Ray’s entire chest that Walt spreads a little lube on his index finger and slowly circles Ray’s hole. When Ray doesn’t immediately tense, Walt continues. He keeps the pace slow, pushing his finger in only after Ray spreads his legs open further, asking for more. Walt doesn’t add a second finger until Ray is close to coming and clutching at the back of the couch over Walt’s head. Walt keeps fingering and blowing Ray as he comes. The result is pretty explosive.

“Not that I’m objecting, but I thought you said you were going to fuck me,” Ray says when he can finally speak afterwards.

“That’s the plan,” Walt agrees. Ray narrows his eyes. “Eventually.”

“That’s some OIF officer bullshit equivocating right there.”

“Those are some big words, Ray. You learn those all by yourself?” Walt’s smile is slow and lazy.

“Fuck you, Hasser.”

“Pretty sure we already covered that section of the plan. Now are you gonna blow me or what?” Walt says. Ray throws the shamed couch cushion at him in response.

\--

The following couple of nights, Walt continues to use his fingers while getting Ray off. It’s killing him a little bit not to fuck Ray yet, especially when Ray is snapping at him on the third night to fuck him already _godfuckingdamnit_. But the few websites Walt has found with practical information stress the importance of preparation and practice. And if spending a week watching Ray get off on his fingers is the price he has to pay for making sure Ray actually enjoys it this time, Walt will gladly pay it.

“Ray, I swear to God. If you don’t shut the fuck up right now, I’m gonna hog tie and gag you so you can’t talk anymore. I’ll fuck you when I’m good and ready.” Walt notices the way Ray’s cock jerks at the mention of getting bound and gagged. He files that bit of information away for later, Ray’s birthday is coming up in a couple months.

They’re sprawled out on the bed and Walt’s got Ray on his back this time. Walt goes to shift his arm because it’s starting to go slightly numb when Ray suddenly jerks away.

“-the fuck was that?” Ray demands as his head snaps up from the bed.

“Shit, sorry. What did I do?” Walt asks. He’s worried about screwing this up again; if it goes bad he’s not sure he’ll be able to unfuck this again. Walt’s not so invested in the actual sex that he doesn’t consider their sex life full without it, but he also doesn’t want his one memory of it to be Ray curled up on the bed, face pale and tense with discomfort.

“No. It wasn’t bad, just unexpected. Definitely try to do that again,” Ray says, his voice strained, as his body relaxes back onto the bed. Walt does, curling his finger forward slightly. Ray’s cock definitely approves of the development as it’s soon flushed a dark red and leaking pre-come. Walt unwraps his hand from around Ray’s dick and moves to stroke his thigh instead. Leaning down, he nips softly at the skin of Ray’s inner thigh, slowly moving up towards his hip. He slowly increases the speed as he strokes Ray’s prostrate, stopping to add more lube when he adds a second finger.

Walt watches as Ray quickly starts to come undone; his breath going erratic and the flush in his face spreading nearly to his navel. Ray’s started babbling non-stop obscenities by this point, the words nearly blurring together because they’re coming out so rushed. Walt’s not surprised when Ray angles down to reach for his straining, neglected cock, but he’s prepared for Ray and pins his hand to the mattress. He looks up and shakes his head from where he’s licking a wet, smoldering line along the curve of Ray’s hipbone.

“Fuck, you’re gonna kill me,” Ray pants. “I’m gonna die from wanting to come so badly my brain will stop working. And I…nnrrgh…will die. Just like that. This isn’t fucking gay hippie tantric sex on a commune, the point is to come at some point _before I die of frustration_.”

Walt snorts in response. He lets go of Ray’s wrist but shoots him a significant look that implies any attempt at dick grabbing will not be tolerated. Running his hand down Ray’s side, Walt trails his fingers up over Ray’s hip and then down past his balls. Using his other hand, Walt preps Ray further, sliding two fingers in and out. He pushes in slowly, getting his fingers past the second knuckle; allowing him to rub his thumb along Ray’s perineum as he curls his fingers up again. He can feel Ray getting looser the more aroused he gets; exactly like Walt had been hoping. When he starts to pull his fingers out again he spreads them apart slowly, stretching Ray out even further.

Ray’s got his legs splayed open wantonly by the time Walt tries for a third finger. Walt is surprised at how easily his fingers slip in past the furl of muscle and has to bite back his own frustrated groan when Ray moans in approval as he tries to grind down onto Walt’s fingers. Walt pauses for a second to take a deep breath as he reaches down and gives his own balls a vicious yank. He feels like he’s been hard for so long he could probably shoot holes through their drywall with how hard he’s going to come.

“Walt, c’mon. Look at how easy I’m taking your fingers, sliding in and out. Just think about it. Could be your cock. Don’t you _want_ to fuck me?” Ray’s voice is wrecked. His hands are fisting slowly in the sheets beside his hip. Walt can practically feel just how much effort it’s taking Ray not to touch himself.  
Walt is nearly undone at the thought and his resolve to wait a few more days crumbles.

“Fuck, fuck, fuuuck,” he mumbles the litany into the skin just above Ray’s knee. Walt pulls his fingers out and crawls up Ray’s body to claim his mouth. Walt rides the sudden onslaught of lust, driving his tongue in hungrily. He thrusts his tongue into Ray’s mouth like an invading force, sweeping through an AO declared hot. Ray is quick to respond, sucking on his tongue hungrily. Walt finally manages to pull back when he feels Ray start to thrust up against his hip.

“Okay, are you sure?” Walt asks, suddenly quite serious.

“Fuck, do you want it in writing?” Ray squirms over to grab one of the condoms sitting on the nightstand and hands it to Walt. Walt rolls it on and in some detached part of his brain he’s surprised his hands aren’t shaking. Ray gets on his hands and knees; his head hanging low between his shoulders. Walt can hear his uneven breathing and somehow it comforts him that this time Ray is considerably more affected going in. Except he can _see_ Ray start to tense up when he kneels behind him and puts a hand on his back.

“Hey, _hey_. This isn’t going to work if you tense up. Ray, you’ve got to relax,” Walt says soothingly. “I don’t want to wake up to you and a Ka-bar tomorrow morning, yeah?”

Ray lets out a choked laugh. Walt leans forward and wraps himself around Ray, resting his head on Ray’s shoulder. He can feel his cock rubbing up in the crease of Ray’s ass and he forces himself to hold still. Drawing on every ounce of his Recon training, Walt evens out his breath, forcing himself to relax around Ray. Ray slowly uncoils beneath him and his breathing eventually starts to synch up with Walt’s until they’re breathing in tandem.

“I’m not a fucking scared animal that needs to be soothed like on your fucking farm. I know you kinky Virginia hicks have got a lot of experience with this, but,” Ray quips.

“Should be glad I’m doing the fucking here, Ray. I’ve heard about Missouri and your love of donkey dicks,” Walt replies with a smile and a kiss pressed into Ray’s shoulder. Ray’s laugh is stronger this time as his ribs shake slightly.

Walt slowly runs his hands up and down any of the skin he can reach, trying to anchor Ray in the sensations of the moment. Reaching further down, he wraps his hand around Ray’s erection. He bites at the skin above Ray’s shoulder blades as he works Ray back to full hardness. When the rhythm of Ray’s breathing starts to speed up again, but for an entirely different reason; Walt feels confident he might be relaxed enough to continue. Leaning back, Walt lets go of Ray’s cock and slowly trails his hand up over Ray’s hip and down to his ass. Picking the lube up with his other hand, he adds a little more and slowly circles Ray’s asshole with his thumb.

“Yeah, there we go,” Walt murmurs appreciatively as he slips a finger back into Ray’s ass. Ray groans as his head rolls heavily down between his arms. Pulling his fingers back out, Walt gives himself a couple strokes and wipes his hand on the sheets. Spreading Ray open with one hand, Walt positions the tip of his cock at Ray’s entrance.

“Breathe, Ray,” Walt reminds him. When Ray exhales loudly, Walt starts to push in slowly. He manages to push in slowly on the third try – the head just barely popping past the tight ring of muscle – when Ray groans.

“Hold on a sec,” Ray manages.

“Does it still hurt?” When Ray doesn’t respond Walt swears in a fashion worthy of a Marine.

“Kinky. You trying to turn me on?” Ray says with a grin Walt can practically hear. He pauses before answering Walt, “It’s better than last time.” He shifts slightly and reaches down to tug at his cock.

“Okay. C’mon,” Ray manages after a long moment. Walt pushes in slowly in small strokes, listening to Ray carefully. He can see Ray’s shoulders flatten out as he slowly relaxes with each passing minute. Walt shifts, thinking about the spot he’d found with his fingers earlier that had made Ray come undone.

Ray doesn’t say anything, just pants harshly as his head hangs down between his arms. Walt can’t quite interpret Ray’s silence. He almost never shuts up – especially since he realized how much his dirty talk affected Walt. The silence reminds Walt just a little too much like the last time they tried this, something he refuses to repeat. Grasping Ray’s hips, Walt leans over him to whisper into his ear.

“Ray,” Walt rasps. “C’mon, tell me how you want it. Is this good for you?” Walt punctuates his question with a slow thrust. Ray goes rigid and his moan sounds as if it’s nearly ripped out of him in shock.

“Oh, fuck, _that_ is what I’m talking about. Don’t move. Except for your dick, move that. Everything else though, seriously, don’t. fucking. move.” As if to emphasize his point, Ray reaches up behind him and grabs Walt by the hair, hauling him down almost flush against Ray’s back. Turning his head, he pulls Walt in for nearly frantic, sloppy kisses as Walt starts to move again.

Clutching at his hips, Walt fucks into the tight heat of Ray’s body. They push against each other, their rhythm slowly meshing as their movements become more fluid. Ray’s arm holding him up starts to buckle under his weight and his head descends slowly towards the bed. His panting gasps echo in syncopation with the slap of their skin. Walt can feel the pace of Ray’s hand speed up below him as he strips his cock frantically.

“Oh, fuck, c’mon, c’mon, fuck.” Ray’s words degenerate into a continuous moan as he pants open mouthed into the bed sheets. With one last strangled moan, Ray clenches up and is coming all over his hand. Walt thrusts a few more times, feeling Ray’s body tighten around him as he comes.

Ray goes slack and he collapses forward onto the bed, taking Walt with him. Walt goes with it, rather than pull a muscle trying to hold Ray up or pull out of him abruptly. He lays there, half on top of Ray, waiting for the other man to recover; trying not to think how close to coming he is and fighting the urge to fuck Ray relentlessly into the mattress. Walt props himself up onto his elbows and gives an experimental thrust after what feels like several torturous hours of waiting for Ray to return to coherence, eliciting a devastated moan from Ray. He pushes in again and Ray squirms, reaching back to grasp Walt’s hip with one hand.

“Shit, Walt, give me a second, it’s too much,” Ray says and his voice sounds _wrecked_.

Walt knows that tenor of Ray’s voice. Ray has just come his brains out and will be utterly useless for at least the next two hours. Walt loves that he’s managed to reduce Ray to one of his rare states of lassitude. At the same time, Walt feels like he’s been hard for years and it’s killing him to wait patiently now. So he carefully pulls out, pulls off the condom and rolls Ray over onto his back.

Ray stares up at him dazedly, looking utterly fucked out. The sight sends a pleasurable jolt straight down Walt’s spine, knowing he did that. Straddling Ray’s hips, Walt strokes himself. Ray gets with the program after several seconds, running his hands up Walt’s thighs and verbally encouraging him. Within moments Walt is coming so hard all over Ray’s stomach his vision whites out for a second.

When he finally blinks back into coherence after what feels like hours later, Ray is sprawled out bonelessly next to him on the bed. He’s already talking, having a conversation regardless of Walt’s level of participation.

“...and I’m not saying this is going to be an everyday kind of thing, but I’m starting to see what all the fucking hype is about. If there was really a way to make yourself come without ever touching your dick, I think we might be on the right track. We should obviously do some serious research in this – and by research I mean lots of fucking – because if I’m right we could totally market this shit and get rich.” Ray pauses and rolls his head slightly to glance over at Walt. He grins when he sees Walt staring sleepily back at him.

“Exactly, Walt. Glad to see you’re on board.”

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt over at the Generation Kill Kink Meme. Cleaned up and fine tuned from the original comment fic posted. Pretty much unrepentant porn, ladies and gentlemen.


End file.
